There comes a time when chapters approach an ending. Whether it be in a book, movie, or just life in general, the show must go on. But regardless of what chapter it is, the author must always realize that all chapters have one thing in common. All chapters end with the reader looking forward to what's next. A chapter does not end and tell you to go back and reread. There might be sticky notes along the way, followed by scrambled highlights. But everybody knows that the questions will always be answered in the end. But to seek those answers, you must always be willing to pick up where you left off and read on.
So today, marks the beginning of a new chapter. I have finished the old, and something new is to come. My last section ended with sorrow and mystery, love and joy, and just plain ol' suspense. I will never forget the time I had in this stage of my life. It has shaped me in ways I never knew possible. It has created relationships and communities that will last forever take a seat in my heart. However, I must never lose sight of the exhilarating travels that are just beyond the horizon.
As much as I would like to predict what is to happen next, the fact of the matter is that the author of my life has full control and will always stump me. I can never understand what is to come and where I will be. I can focus and aim my life in a certain direction, but I will never be far from the path set before me. This does not worry me. Because my life story is of adventures, good and evil, and all of the things that make a good plot great. But like a good narrative, I will never know what is next. This creates a peace in me. Hoping that perhaps one day, I will be on my merry way, playing a simple game of hide-and-seek. And even then, I will never expect what lingers behind me, amidst the coats in the closet in which I am hiding.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
I guess this is what you get when I sit at the A and blast worship music in my headphones.
I've been really needing to work on my car. I've also been needing a lot of work on my stereo. Same with my bike. Also with my furnishings. Oh, did I mention my work ethic? What about my dirty carpet that needs cleaning? The point is, I have been busy doing a lot of projects of my own. Working on my own undertakings has always been the ace of spades when it comes to self confidence and content. Sometimes I like to search around on Craigslist, find knick knacks that I know are sellable and worth some money, buy them super cheap, and turn them around for a good profit. Business major at its finest right? I mean, it makes me some money and I get to do what I love.
With all of this chatter going on, I have really lost touch with God in my life. I've been maneuvering my own trails. The problem is that I have been doing just fine on my own. But I could be doing a lot better. God knew it too. And was just kicking His heels, waiting for the perfect moment to act.
The thing about God is that, in my life, He will always hear everything I even utter to myself. A couple weeks ago I was mentioning to the leadership team of Outdoor Adventure that I was feeling lukewarm and uncomfortable with my relationship with Christ. I felt stagnant. Pale. Sometimes even empty or on my own. I didn't really feel like I when I was asking for help and prayer from peers, that I really meant it. I was sort of mentioning it for mentioning's sake. I had no real need in my life to pursue God. I had been making a decent amount of money. My grades were staying relatively high. And I was confident in the next stages of my life. But God, being the sneaky character He often is, knew that I was due for another "big moment."
I am a businessman. My number one strength is Maximizer. I want the best out of every single person I meet because each one of you has something amazing you contribute to the world. You see, I also have a very unique (well in the sense that I've never met anybody with similar views) image of God and creation. It seems that many people live in the belief that without God we are nothing. That apart from God we are incapable of anything. John 15:5 supports this in the metaphor of the vine and the vinedresser. "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." So I'm not trying to intentionally disagree with basic theological understanding but, why would God create humans so incapable? I would like to believe that God created me a powerful and smart individual. That God created me with goals and aspirations to excel in the world of business and service, or my passion for growth and personal development. I'm not saying that I don't need God. But sometimes I really want to do things on my own. Sort of the "learn to fly" idea. With this said, I believe God created people intelligent, capable, adept, and skilled men and women. I mean, who would want to sit there and manage a bunch of babbling idiots as they attempt to manage the earth? In Genesis, God gave Adam the responsibility of naming all things of the earth and being in superiority over all creatures. I don't think God intended to give Adam this power and monitor it the entire time. I imagine God delegating the work and empowering the people to do things on their own. For me to imagine that I am an impotent and mindless without God constantly giving me strength is sort of upsetting to me. Let me do some things on my own.
Now this is a dangerous claim. I am well aware of that. But look at some of the achievements I have accomplished or great leaders have executed. For example, my luck at getting employment in a lamentable economy. Ok so I am a tenacious interviewee. Maybe God created me with strong communication skills and the ability to quickly relate to people, but do you think God spoke the words that came out of my mouth for the answers to every question? Probably not. Though certainly God can literally speak through people, but I doubt everything I say, even intelligent of deep thoughts, are generated from my own intellect.
Or for example with the recent re-election of President Barack Obama. Do you really think that his victory speech was written out and spoken by God? I think that our President is a brilliant leader that knows very well what to say and do in the given situations. He is a talented person that is leading one of the world's most powerful civilizations.
I imagine God as a coach. Perhaps I join the team unable to throw or with a terrible 40 yard sprint time. But with careful and diligent teaching, one day I will be an excellent player who contributes to the team in my specific skill set God will always be there in the dugout to come and give me strength and motivation when I am starting to slip up, but the pitching mound is still mine for these innings.
So back to this aforementioned "big moment". I really don't know how to describe what it feels like when you realize God did something in your life. It is sort of like you can suddenly see beyond the cave. You find out that there is so much that you were blind to but can suddenly see. You become so happy yet filled with an anomalous anger at God for being so clever. It's sort of like "of course, you WOULD do that!"
I've been fortunate enough to observe maybe 4 or 5 miracles in my life. Each one exquisite in its own uniqueness.
My hope that each one of you gets to participate in this someday. It really is quite beautiful.
That's all.
Shalom.
"At your feet,
where your love covers all I've done,
now I walk with you Lord.
For I am caught in your arms of love."
PS: Why haven't I ever heard our worship team play this? Arms Open Wide
With all of this chatter going on, I have really lost touch with God in my life. I've been maneuvering my own trails. The problem is that I have been doing just fine on my own. But I could be doing a lot better. God knew it too. And was just kicking His heels, waiting for the perfect moment to act.
The thing about God is that, in my life, He will always hear everything I even utter to myself. A couple weeks ago I was mentioning to the leadership team of Outdoor Adventure that I was feeling lukewarm and uncomfortable with my relationship with Christ. I felt stagnant. Pale. Sometimes even empty or on my own. I didn't really feel like I when I was asking for help and prayer from peers, that I really meant it. I was sort of mentioning it for mentioning's sake. I had no real need in my life to pursue God. I had been making a decent amount of money. My grades were staying relatively high. And I was confident in the next stages of my life. But God, being the sneaky character He often is, knew that I was due for another "big moment."
I am a businessman. My number one strength is Maximizer. I want the best out of every single person I meet because each one of you has something amazing you contribute to the world. You see, I also have a very unique (well in the sense that I've never met anybody with similar views) image of God and creation. It seems that many people live in the belief that without God we are nothing. That apart from God we are incapable of anything. John 15:5 supports this in the metaphor of the vine and the vinedresser. "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." So I'm not trying to intentionally disagree with basic theological understanding but, why would God create humans so incapable? I would like to believe that God created me a powerful and smart individual. That God created me with goals and aspirations to excel in the world of business and service, or my passion for growth and personal development. I'm not saying that I don't need God. But sometimes I really want to do things on my own. Sort of the "learn to fly" idea. With this said, I believe God created people intelligent, capable, adept, and skilled men and women. I mean, who would want to sit there and manage a bunch of babbling idiots as they attempt to manage the earth? In Genesis, God gave Adam the responsibility of naming all things of the earth and being in superiority over all creatures. I don't think God intended to give Adam this power and monitor it the entire time. I imagine God delegating the work and empowering the people to do things on their own. For me to imagine that I am an impotent and mindless without God constantly giving me strength is sort of upsetting to me. Let me do some things on my own.
Now this is a dangerous claim. I am well aware of that. But look at some of the achievements I have accomplished or great leaders have executed. For example, my luck at getting employment in a lamentable economy. Ok so I am a tenacious interviewee. Maybe God created me with strong communication skills and the ability to quickly relate to people, but do you think God spoke the words that came out of my mouth for the answers to every question? Probably not. Though certainly God can literally speak through people, but I doubt everything I say, even intelligent of deep thoughts, are generated from my own intellect.
Or for example with the recent re-election of President Barack Obama. Do you really think that his victory speech was written out and spoken by God? I think that our President is a brilliant leader that knows very well what to say and do in the given situations. He is a talented person that is leading one of the world's most powerful civilizations.
I imagine God as a coach. Perhaps I join the team unable to throw or with a terrible 40 yard sprint time. But with careful and diligent teaching, one day I will be an excellent player who contributes to the team in my specific skill set God will always be there in the dugout to come and give me strength and motivation when I am starting to slip up, but the pitching mound is still mine for these innings.
So back to this aforementioned "big moment". I really don't know how to describe what it feels like when you realize God did something in your life. It is sort of like you can suddenly see beyond the cave. You find out that there is so much that you were blind to but can suddenly see. You become so happy yet filled with an anomalous anger at God for being so clever. It's sort of like "of course, you WOULD do that!"
Sunday, October 28, 2012
iPad - the best investment you can make for your biggest investment.
As many of you may know, I bought an iPad this fall. I had been saving up for no particular reason... well it was more for emergency cash in case of major car problems. Poor ol' Ruby is getting old and is starting to show. But sometimes life throws a couple curveballs at you. But for those who know me a little better, you are probably aware that I have always had a strong resentment towards Apple's iPad. Why would I spend $500.00 on a tablet when I already own a computer? It doesn't print on campus, can't stream to a TV here, and serves very little functionality in comparison to a laptop.
Well last year, my grades weren't as hot as they could be. I sat and pondered what had happened and realized that amongst the parties, trips to the beach, DisneyLand, and the obsession for LAN sessions, my grades were less than satisfactory due to my incredible ability to suck at organizing my time. I would come back from class and completely forget about entire assignments and I would be unprepared for tests that caught me off guard. There was a serious problem that needed addressing.
To solve my problem, I needed a way to organize every assignment for every class, take better and more efficient notes, instantly add assignments and pop quizes into my calendar, be portable, and preferably be digital because I'm stingy like that.
Lo and behold, this was the perfect storm for me to buy my most hated Apple product (besides the iPod Touch of course). So after much consideration, I purchased an 3rd Generation White iPad with 16GB of memory.
So now half of a semester into owning this educational investment, I can proudly say it has revolutionized the way I do school! I can't believe I have been doing all of this work that technology could have made so much easier! I'll break it down into two sections: note taking and organization.
First, the way I take notes has been flopped on its head. Originally, I would sit in class and carefully select what I could write down quickly. I would abbreviate and cut my notes short because I am a slow writer and I knew that I couldn't write everything down, nor did I want too. Now with my iPad (which has yet to be named, so please feel free to give suggestions), I download every single powerpoint and PDF through Sakai. I have every bit of material the professor uses. I simply follow along in class and highlight or footnote things that are deemed important. I save so much time with this. It also allows my wandering brain to fill its constant need for random facts. For example, in psychology a few weeks ago we brought up studies done on Pavlov's dogs. Instantly my mind wandered and I wanted to do a little more research just to get a little more background information. Without the iPad, I would often get caught up in my imagination and would space out as I think about some random tangent. But with the internet at my fingertips, I can feel free to quickly find answers and then return to the lecture without being too distracted. It really helps me focus for an entire class period.
Second and most helpful for my grades is how owning an iPad has taken my classes and created an organized system out of the chaos in which they originated. In the beginning of each semester, I take the calendars from all of my syllabi and consolidate them into my iPad calendar so that I always know what is due and when things are coming up. Also, it makes it super easy for me to add spontaneous assignments that may come up through the semester. My iPad reminds me the day before they are due and also links certain classes with emails and my Facebook with the events that I RSVP to. Even better, with the integration of iCloud, my calendars, assignments, and reminders are all instantly synced with my computer back home. Work never gets lost or unsaved.
Those are just two benefits I see with my iPad. It does other things too. Now I don't have to carry notebooks to class or ever have to sit and write my hand away. Other little perks come in handy too. Netflix, YouTube, and other services are all at my fingertips, and I can easily kill time in Heritage Court reading my Kindle and Google eBooks.
So there's my little bluster about my iPad. Honestly, I hated the product at first, and now I often brainstorm about small business solutions for paperless business. I really think this could change a lot things about the education system and small business IT. But keep in mind, the iPad is NOT the replacement for the PC. Maybe I'll rant about the Microsoft Surface and the direction they are taking technology. But that's for another day.
Peace.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Long Time, No See.
Oh dang! It's been so long since I last logged onto Blogger!
Ok... updates on my life and then I'll get back into whatever blogs are meant to do.
1. I love my hall. I no longer hate them. 2nd North 4ever!
2. My car's registration has expired.
3. I quit my job at Gamestop. I now work at the APU Computer store.
4. I am staying in Azusa for the summer.
5. I am embarking on adding a minor in graphic design.
6. I have been trying to read more.
7. I drank alcohol for the very first time in my life!!! Big deal people! I went wine tasting over spring break with a family I met two days beforehand. And then continued to drive quad bikes and shoot squirrels the rest of the day.
8. Still living up the single life and doing well in it.
9. My current favorite movie is Fantastic Mr. Fox.
10. My favorite band is tied between Manchester Orchestra, The Fleet Foxes, and Ra Ra Riot.
11. I only got to go snowboarding once this year, due to a pleasing injury on my second run. Sadly, my goal of doing a backflip was not met.
12. I have gained over 10 pounds. Now my jeans that I just got this last winter are already too small.
13. Have not read Hunger Games. Neither have I seen the movie.
Anyway, there is so much I can write about tonight, and I have no idea really what I want to say. I felt bad for leaving Blogger so suddenly and not recording any of my life for my faithful stalkers out there. I guess this last winter and spring was really tough on me. Lot of good and bad things happen. But now, I am loving where I am at so that is good.
I took a May term class. Intro to Literature to be exact. I had Dr. Kristen Sipper, and plainly, she was quite a character. Her sense of humor was really funny but only a few students really understood half of it because her jokes tended to require some sort of analysis. They always involved a random pun or the satirizing of a public figure or group of people. I thought it was really funny because there was one girl in the class that was rather bold about her thoughts. She was a sociology major, so I guess that provides some help. One of those people that has the most passionate thoughts on society. So every time my professor would joke about how Christians trash of gays all the time or about how Americans need to stop complaining about immigrants taking jobs that we won't do in the first place, that girl would get this big ol' argument wound up and would practically demolish my professor with crazy statistics and whatnot. It was the most enjoyable class of 12 students, to say the least.
Ok, I thought of something to write about. Recently, as in the last few months or so, I have been dreaming about what I want to do after college. I think all of the hype about graduation had gotten me thinking about it. There was so much to sort out. I realized that after college, there are so many options for me. It's not like graduating high school where I knew I was going to go to college and that was all I had to worry about. Now, I could either go to graduate school and continue my education. Or I could jump in and get a great job and start working. This could be virtually anywhere! I thought about moving back to the Northwest. Probably not Idaho, there isn't a whole lot that attracts me there. I was looking into Jackson Wyoming, a couple places in Alaska, and Colorado, and Utah. Pretty much anywhere in the heart of the Rocky Mountains.
On a side note, what if by the time I get out of college, I'm in a very deep relationship and could be getting married!? The thought of that scares me and makes me shiver. Ew. I have put a lot of thought into this actually. Especially since APU has an astounding 3 to 1 girl to guy ratio or something close to that. But what really strikes me is that women here are often times very career driven. Now in our culture, men are typically the individual that brings in the income into a married household. In fact, after asking numerous people and seeing similar studies, most guys actually value their superiority in their career much more than I thought. Most men said that they could marry a woman that makes more money than them. But then what if their wife made more money than them in the same field of work. This changed the question completely and most guys said they couldn't do that. I thought that was the most fascinating thing. So the point I'm leading to is, since women at APU are so passionate about their careers and see that they have an opportunity to provide for themselves and be successful, what happens when they get married? Who sacrifices one career for another? Normally the wife would always give up her life for that of her husband. What if say, I get a great job lined up in Seattle while my fiance gets a great opportunity in San Diego? This question has never really been addressed ever in history. I kept putting myself in this situation and found that it would be really hard for me to give up my career for that of my significant other. Maybe that is just me. I am very driven by success through a career. Other people may have totally different thoughts. Something to think about, and something I think about frequently.
So back to my career dreams, I would really like to get a great marketing, event planning, branding, advertising, or something"ing" job somewhere deep in the mountains. The drive for me to be in the snow and the bitter cold is something that really lights an emotional fire in me. I had a dream a few weeks ago and I vividly remember it. The part that makes me remember this dream most is that it was exactly what I wish I could do.
In this dream, I was just graduating college here at APU and I was packing up my things to embark on my career. I had already gone through an interview process and was offered a job at a ski resort in Alaska as their retail marketing manager. I would be in charge of all of the company-owned ski shops and would be living on the resort all year round (huge personal fantasy of mine). Then, while I was packing up my things and filtering through what I was going to take with me, I noticed that I was packing my stuff into my pearl white 2008 Nissan Xterra Pro-4x. I had been saving most of my college money that I had earned through my four years here and had bought one of my dream cars. On a trailer was my Audi that had then become my project car because it has over 200,000 miles. No joke, it really does. I packed my things and before I knew it, I was leaving sunny California and trucking through Canada and into the Last Frontier.
If only this would come true. Most of it, actually, is quite possible. I have looked into the cost of me getting a new car after I graduate and with the expected value of a Nissan Xterra about 4 years from now being 8 to 10 grand, I could easily pay half of that in cash. So I'm not reaching to far here.
With this all said, I miss the mountains. I miss snow. I miss silence. After being in the city for 9 months, I am ready to move on. There is a lot of cool stuff here in LA County and I hope to get around to seeing the best of it. But I just can't stay here. I desire the much more family oriented and friendly environment that I found in Idaho. Life there is much more simpler. People care about you there. You know your neighbors. Here, it is all about having a nice car and dwelling in the corporate world. The mountains are where I belong.
God Bless.
Ok... updates on my life and then I'll get back into whatever blogs are meant to do.
1. I love my hall. I no longer hate them. 2nd North 4ever!
2. My car's registration has expired.
3. I quit my job at Gamestop. I now work at the APU Computer store.
4. I am staying in Azusa for the summer.
5. I am embarking on adding a minor in graphic design.
6. I have been trying to read more.
7. I drank alcohol for the very first time in my life!!! Big deal people! I went wine tasting over spring break with a family I met two days beforehand. And then continued to drive quad bikes and shoot squirrels the rest of the day.
8. Still living up the single life and doing well in it.
9. My current favorite movie is Fantastic Mr. Fox.
10. My favorite band is tied between Manchester Orchestra, The Fleet Foxes, and Ra Ra Riot.
11. I only got to go snowboarding once this year, due to a pleasing injury on my second run. Sadly, my goal of doing a backflip was not met.
12. I have gained over 10 pounds. Now my jeans that I just got this last winter are already too small.
13. Have not read Hunger Games. Neither have I seen the movie.
Anyway, there is so much I can write about tonight, and I have no idea really what I want to say. I felt bad for leaving Blogger so suddenly and not recording any of my life for my faithful stalkers out there. I guess this last winter and spring was really tough on me. Lot of good and bad things happen. But now, I am loving where I am at so that is good.
I took a May term class. Intro to Literature to be exact. I had Dr. Kristen Sipper, and plainly, she was quite a character. Her sense of humor was really funny but only a few students really understood half of it because her jokes tended to require some sort of analysis. They always involved a random pun or the satirizing of a public figure or group of people. I thought it was really funny because there was one girl in the class that was rather bold about her thoughts. She was a sociology major, so I guess that provides some help. One of those people that has the most passionate thoughts on society. So every time my professor would joke about how Christians trash of gays all the time or about how Americans need to stop complaining about immigrants taking jobs that we won't do in the first place, that girl would get this big ol' argument wound up and would practically demolish my professor with crazy statistics and whatnot. It was the most enjoyable class of 12 students, to say the least.
Ok, I thought of something to write about. Recently, as in the last few months or so, I have been dreaming about what I want to do after college. I think all of the hype about graduation had gotten me thinking about it. There was so much to sort out. I realized that after college, there are so many options for me. It's not like graduating high school where I knew I was going to go to college and that was all I had to worry about. Now, I could either go to graduate school and continue my education. Or I could jump in and get a great job and start working. This could be virtually anywhere! I thought about moving back to the Northwest. Probably not Idaho, there isn't a whole lot that attracts me there. I was looking into Jackson Wyoming, a couple places in Alaska, and Colorado, and Utah. Pretty much anywhere in the heart of the Rocky Mountains.
On a side note, what if by the time I get out of college, I'm in a very deep relationship and could be getting married!? The thought of that scares me and makes me shiver. Ew. I have put a lot of thought into this actually. Especially since APU has an astounding 3 to 1 girl to guy ratio or something close to that. But what really strikes me is that women here are often times very career driven. Now in our culture, men are typically the individual that brings in the income into a married household. In fact, after asking numerous people and seeing similar studies, most guys actually value their superiority in their career much more than I thought. Most men said that they could marry a woman that makes more money than them. But then what if their wife made more money than them in the same field of work. This changed the question completely and most guys said they couldn't do that. I thought that was the most fascinating thing. So the point I'm leading to is, since women at APU are so passionate about their careers and see that they have an opportunity to provide for themselves and be successful, what happens when they get married? Who sacrifices one career for another? Normally the wife would always give up her life for that of her husband. What if say, I get a great job lined up in Seattle while my fiance gets a great opportunity in San Diego? This question has never really been addressed ever in history. I kept putting myself in this situation and found that it would be really hard for me to give up my career for that of my significant other. Maybe that is just me. I am very driven by success through a career. Other people may have totally different thoughts. Something to think about, and something I think about frequently.
So back to my career dreams, I would really like to get a great marketing, event planning, branding, advertising, or something"ing" job somewhere deep in the mountains. The drive for me to be in the snow and the bitter cold is something that really lights an emotional fire in me. I had a dream a few weeks ago and I vividly remember it. The part that makes me remember this dream most is that it was exactly what I wish I could do.
In this dream, I was just graduating college here at APU and I was packing up my things to embark on my career. I had already gone through an interview process and was offered a job at a ski resort in Alaska as their retail marketing manager. I would be in charge of all of the company-owned ski shops and would be living on the resort all year round (huge personal fantasy of mine). Then, while I was packing up my things and filtering through what I was going to take with me, I noticed that I was packing my stuff into my pearl white 2008 Nissan Xterra Pro-4x. I had been saving most of my college money that I had earned through my four years here and had bought one of my dream cars. On a trailer was my Audi that had then become my project car because it has over 200,000 miles. No joke, it really does. I packed my things and before I knew it, I was leaving sunny California and trucking through Canada and into the Last Frontier.
If only this would come true. Most of it, actually, is quite possible. I have looked into the cost of me getting a new car after I graduate and with the expected value of a Nissan Xterra about 4 years from now being 8 to 10 grand, I could easily pay half of that in cash. So I'm not reaching to far here.
With this all said, I miss the mountains. I miss snow. I miss silence. After being in the city for 9 months, I am ready to move on. There is a lot of cool stuff here in LA County and I hope to get around to seeing the best of it. But I just can't stay here. I desire the much more family oriented and friendly environment that I found in Idaho. Life there is much more simpler. People care about you there. You know your neighbors. Here, it is all about having a nice car and dwelling in the corporate world. The mountains are where I belong.
God Bless.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
You may think you know me, but you are just getting started.
I did not make it to the APU basketball game tonight. What a bummer. I really wanted to go.
It has been a while since I have had anything worthy of a blog, and tonight, I still am searching my conscious for something good. I am wide awake and feel the need to write. Maybe, it was that Pepsi Max I just had, maybe it is that I am blasting music at 12:00 AM (my poor neighbors), or maybe the effects of a breakup have just smacked me in the face months after it actually happened. Which ever one it may be, I hope that I can come up with something worth your few minutes of reading.
After deleting several paragraphs of writing because I did not like the way they were going, I noticed that everything I was writing was very negative and somewhat gloomy. I am going to switch it up a bit, do something more original and not so pathetic. Sharing secrets will have to do.
Secretly I...
have not seen most Disney classics,
collect coupons for haircuts,
love hanging out with 4th North,
think people from Engstrom are odd,
have probably considered writing you a letter,
love playing with hair,
attempt and fail at parkour,
do not like most worship music,
dislike John Mayer and Jack Johnson,
want to leave the country,
hate Wal-Mart,
think Dr. Dre's Beats are a joke,
act like a ninja when walking between campuses at night,
think flats are always better than heels,
hate cantaloup and apricots,
don't think celebrities are hot (except for Zooey Deschanel),
smell everything,
want to be an astronaut,
rock out while driving on my own,
have personal dance parties in my room,
like the Bowles,
will randomly full on sprint to places,
think I am unbeatable at hide-and-go seek.
It has been a while since I have had anything worthy of a blog, and tonight, I still am searching my conscious for something good. I am wide awake and feel the need to write. Maybe, it was that Pepsi Max I just had, maybe it is that I am blasting music at 12:00 AM (my poor neighbors), or maybe the effects of a breakup have just smacked me in the face months after it actually happened. Which ever one it may be, I hope that I can come up with something worth your few minutes of reading.
After deleting several paragraphs of writing because I did not like the way they were going, I noticed that everything I was writing was very negative and somewhat gloomy. I am going to switch it up a bit, do something more original and not so pathetic. Sharing secrets will have to do.
Secretly I...
have not seen most Disney classics,
collect coupons for haircuts,
love hanging out with 4th North,
think people from Engstrom are odd,
have probably considered writing you a letter,
love playing with hair,
attempt and fail at parkour,
do not like most worship music,
dislike John Mayer and Jack Johnson,
want to leave the country,
hate Wal-Mart,
think Dr. Dre's Beats are a joke,
act like a ninja when walking between campuses at night,
think flats are always better than heels,
hate cantaloup and apricots,
don't think celebrities are hot (except for Zooey Deschanel),
smell everything,
want to be an astronaut,
rock out while driving on my own,
have personal dance parties in my room,
like the Bowles,
will randomly full on sprint to places,
think I am unbeatable at hide-and-go seek.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
of Introverts
On this glorious day of Christmas, I find myself not inclined to write about Christmas or being thankful or any of that gleeful hubbub that places a delighted smirk on the faces of readers. Rather, I am going to talk about the one thing that bothers me with being with my family. Sorry to disappoint you if you were hoping to lighten your heart with a shallow Christmas love story.
A few people that know me well enough know that I can not be around people for a very long time. As much as I like being social and partying and all that jazz, I get tense, impatient, and will eventually blow up on somebody and scare the heck out of them as I go off on some rant about how they have been annoying me for days if I do not get the break I need. I needed time to myself. It is kind of like a drug in my life. I need my daily dose of alone time. I love people and admire the beauty of relationships but balance in my life comes directly from within me. I learned that this is what makes me a true introvert. You can tell if a person is introverted or extroverted by asking them what they do when they need spiritual or emotional revival. Do they become the life of the party and bask in the rays of external personalities? Or do they go off to themselves and reflect or relax to rejuvenate? The latter question is my giveaway. It is true to me one hundred percent. I am an introvert.
When I need energy or life, I go off to myself and do a few of these things. Sometimes I play guitar and belt out until I can't sing a single note more, or until somebody hears me (if you ever get me to sing or play guitar publicly, consider yourself one in a billion). Other times, I listen to music and mindlessly surf the Web for a few hours. Most likely, I will sit at my desk, plug in my iPod, and engage in some sort of personal communication with somebody. This tends to be either writing letters (which I have become exceedingly fond of as college has progressed), texting, or emailing. I never can really know who I will end up talking to but it tends to be somebody who I value very highly in my life. The reality of the situation is that I want to be away from people and want to be with a person. I will take that hour to myself to regenerate and then I will invite somebody to join me in my sacred time. This all bubbles down to why I can not stand to be at home for long periods of time. My family is always around and wanting to have me with them.
Before I moved out, so around early April, I moved into the TV room so my brothers could have their own rooms because they fought so much. I loved this transition but feared the fact that I no longer had control of my privacy in the house. Now back here, I am screwed. I have no car, it is below freezing outside, and my family has not seen me for months. It is the perfect storm. Day by day goes by where I do not get time to myself and I am slowly getting closer to my mental boiling point. I am surprised I have lasted this long into the break. Even a few days of family time without a break is difficult for me. The sooner I get back to college, away from my little brothers always being in my space, the better. I love my family and will miss them dearly, but golly do I need a good break.
However, I am being summoned to a family game right now. Lord, give me patience. :) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. May your Winter breaks continue to be a blessing!
A few people that know me well enough know that I can not be around people for a very long time. As much as I like being social and partying and all that jazz, I get tense, impatient, and will eventually blow up on somebody and scare the heck out of them as I go off on some rant about how they have been annoying me for days if I do not get the break I need. I needed time to myself. It is kind of like a drug in my life. I need my daily dose of alone time. I love people and admire the beauty of relationships but balance in my life comes directly from within me. I learned that this is what makes me a true introvert. You can tell if a person is introverted or extroverted by asking them what they do when they need spiritual or emotional revival. Do they become the life of the party and bask in the rays of external personalities? Or do they go off to themselves and reflect or relax to rejuvenate? The latter question is my giveaway. It is true to me one hundred percent. I am an introvert.
When I need energy or life, I go off to myself and do a few of these things. Sometimes I play guitar and belt out until I can't sing a single note more, or until somebody hears me (if you ever get me to sing or play guitar publicly, consider yourself one in a billion). Other times, I listen to music and mindlessly surf the Web for a few hours. Most likely, I will sit at my desk, plug in my iPod, and engage in some sort of personal communication with somebody. This tends to be either writing letters (which I have become exceedingly fond of as college has progressed), texting, or emailing. I never can really know who I will end up talking to but it tends to be somebody who I value very highly in my life. The reality of the situation is that I want to be away from people and want to be with a person. I will take that hour to myself to regenerate and then I will invite somebody to join me in my sacred time. This all bubbles down to why I can not stand to be at home for long periods of time. My family is always around and wanting to have me with them.
Before I moved out, so around early April, I moved into the TV room so my brothers could have their own rooms because they fought so much. I loved this transition but feared the fact that I no longer had control of my privacy in the house. Now back here, I am screwed. I have no car, it is below freezing outside, and my family has not seen me for months. It is the perfect storm. Day by day goes by where I do not get time to myself and I am slowly getting closer to my mental boiling point. I am surprised I have lasted this long into the break. Even a few days of family time without a break is difficult for me. The sooner I get back to college, away from my little brothers always being in my space, the better. I love my family and will miss them dearly, but golly do I need a good break.
However, I am being summoned to a family game right now. Lord, give me patience. :) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. May your Winter breaks continue to be a blessing!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Home is wherever I'm with you... psh, yeah right.
Welcome home Britton Hennessy! More like welcome to the dwelling of your direct family. I realized the day I arrived back home, Thursday December 15, that my family's house, in which we have lived in for five years now, is not my home.
Historically, I have never really had a place I can call home. I moved a lot as a kid, went to new schools, and make lots of random friends, then I moved on and had to make new ones every year. I moved to new houses in third, sixth, and eighth grade. But if you consider going from one grade level to the next, you can say that I went to new schools in third, sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth grade, and once again for college. Now with all of this moving around behind me, I look back and realize that I never truly fitted in to any one of those places. Though I loved every single place for different reasons: my first house was so adventurous, elementary school was my favorite neighborhood, seventh grade had my favorite house and church, and eighth grade was where I loved school the most. None of these places will I ever call my home.
I really thought APU was going to be my home. I thought that finally I will be where I desire to be, the LA county area. However, I still have not found that perfect place for me. Don't get my wrong though, I absolutely love APU! The friends I have made there are the best friendships I have ever been blessed with, the culture is extremely active and unique in its own way, and I am taking my education beyond what I ever thought I could.
In my Christian, Life, Faith, and Ministry class, we discussed a lot about what God's will is for our lives. How we determine our purpose here on Earth. I was to begin looking at my vocation, calling, or life goal if you will. I started thinking about the things that drive me. The parts in life that make my heart just melt in joy or love. I couldn't put my finger directly on it. In fact, I was actually asked a little over a week ago, "what are you passionate about?" When I was asked this, I was completely blank! I looked across the table as my mind went into panic mode. Staring into space, my mind was searching for a file that did not exist. I couldn't answer such a simple question. I really don't remember what I eventually said but it must not have been very deep. Probably something about t-shirt design or being nice to girls. The point is that maybe I am about to grasp something I have never considered before.
Maybe I am not meant to have a home somewhere. Is it possible that I settling down somewhere just is not for me? I love going on voyages. Hear me out though, to me, there is a difference between travelling and a voyage. For me, traveling has a smaller more delicate sense of direction or purpose. Travelling is to explore, enjoy, or be entertained. My voyages have validity. They are deeper. When I think of going on a voyage in life, I have a mission and objective. I am going to seek out something and begin a new chapter of my life. This chapter will forever change me and when I am ready, I new chapter will begin and I will venture yonder once again. My voyage to APU was my lift ticket to my future. I came to APU to propel my life further than ever before. Here, I create beautiful relationships and reroute my faith in a straight path to God. But there is one thing that seems to be impossible to miss about this new place.
Many people at school believe that they will find their future spouse during college. This is a joke. Do you really go searching for this person? I think it's too consuming. How can I focus on my faith and education when I am distracting myself with girls? I don't want to spend my time looking for my long lost love. I put it this way, I kind of adopted this from something I heard from some speaker at some conference some short amount of years ago. If somebody is going to be with me forever, this is the one criteria they must meet. If I look at my life, I am running. I am running towards success and towards God. I look around myself in my run and see the people around me, some passing me, me passing others, and then I look and realize there is a stunning woman running right beside me at the exact same pace. She catches me eye, but she doesn't make me stop in a startle. I look over at her and she gets this mischievous look that says something along the lines of "bring it on, lets see what you've got." She runs next to me and looks as I am running my life and all of the sudden we are racing! We are pushing each other to success, to God, leaping over obstacles side by side as we push ourselves faster than we have ever gone before. We launch each other to excellence. That girl will be the one I spend my life with. I shall keep a sharp eye out in this race.
Most of what I am saying right now about home, life, and women, is just the birth of an idea. It's still forming and I am figuring a lot out right now. I just want to express it so I can share it and look back on this day a few months or even years from now.
There are a lot of things I am learning about myself and the man of God I am becoming. Mostly thanks to you, my ever so faithful friends. I learn a lot about myself through the eyes of others. Thanks for being so amazing. I miss my APU family like no other! I mean, it is great to be back in my house with my family but gosh I really do miss so much about you guys! I can not wait to get back. Lets get coffee and catch up. And if you're reading this from Idaho, let's hang out.
P.S. I am almost to 500 page views. Make it happen by Christmas.
Historically, I have never really had a place I can call home. I moved a lot as a kid, went to new schools, and make lots of random friends, then I moved on and had to make new ones every year. I moved to new houses in third, sixth, and eighth grade. But if you consider going from one grade level to the next, you can say that I went to new schools in third, sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth grade, and once again for college. Now with all of this moving around behind me, I look back and realize that I never truly fitted in to any one of those places. Though I loved every single place for different reasons: my first house was so adventurous, elementary school was my favorite neighborhood, seventh grade had my favorite house and church, and eighth grade was where I loved school the most. None of these places will I ever call my home.
I really thought APU was going to be my home. I thought that finally I will be where I desire to be, the LA county area. However, I still have not found that perfect place for me. Don't get my wrong though, I absolutely love APU! The friends I have made there are the best friendships I have ever been blessed with, the culture is extremely active and unique in its own way, and I am taking my education beyond what I ever thought I could.
In my Christian, Life, Faith, and Ministry class, we discussed a lot about what God's will is for our lives. How we determine our purpose here on Earth. I was to begin looking at my vocation, calling, or life goal if you will. I started thinking about the things that drive me. The parts in life that make my heart just melt in joy or love. I couldn't put my finger directly on it. In fact, I was actually asked a little over a week ago, "what are you passionate about?" When I was asked this, I was completely blank! I looked across the table as my mind went into panic mode. Staring into space, my mind was searching for a file that did not exist. I couldn't answer such a simple question. I really don't remember what I eventually said but it must not have been very deep. Probably something about t-shirt design or being nice to girls. The point is that maybe I am about to grasp something I have never considered before.
Maybe I am not meant to have a home somewhere. Is it possible that I settling down somewhere just is not for me? I love going on voyages. Hear me out though, to me, there is a difference between travelling and a voyage. For me, traveling has a smaller more delicate sense of direction or purpose. Travelling is to explore, enjoy, or be entertained. My voyages have validity. They are deeper. When I think of going on a voyage in life, I have a mission and objective. I am going to seek out something and begin a new chapter of my life. This chapter will forever change me and when I am ready, I new chapter will begin and I will venture yonder once again. My voyage to APU was my lift ticket to my future. I came to APU to propel my life further than ever before. Here, I create beautiful relationships and reroute my faith in a straight path to God. But there is one thing that seems to be impossible to miss about this new place.
Many people at school believe that they will find their future spouse during college. This is a joke. Do you really go searching for this person? I think it's too consuming. How can I focus on my faith and education when I am distracting myself with girls? I don't want to spend my time looking for my long lost love. I put it this way, I kind of adopted this from something I heard from some speaker at some conference some short amount of years ago. If somebody is going to be with me forever, this is the one criteria they must meet. If I look at my life, I am running. I am running towards success and towards God. I look around myself in my run and see the people around me, some passing me, me passing others, and then I look and realize there is a stunning woman running right beside me at the exact same pace. She catches me eye, but she doesn't make me stop in a startle. I look over at her and she gets this mischievous look that says something along the lines of "bring it on, lets see what you've got." She runs next to me and looks as I am running my life and all of the sudden we are racing! We are pushing each other to success, to God, leaping over obstacles side by side as we push ourselves faster than we have ever gone before. We launch each other to excellence. That girl will be the one I spend my life with. I shall keep a sharp eye out in this race.
Most of what I am saying right now about home, life, and women, is just the birth of an idea. It's still forming and I am figuring a lot out right now. I just want to express it so I can share it and look back on this day a few months or even years from now.
There are a lot of things I am learning about myself and the man of God I am becoming. Mostly thanks to you, my ever so faithful friends. I learn a lot about myself through the eyes of others. Thanks for being so amazing. I miss my APU family like no other! I mean, it is great to be back in my house with my family but gosh I really do miss so much about you guys! I can not wait to get back. Lets get coffee and catch up. And if you're reading this from Idaho, let's hang out.
P.S. I am almost to 500 page views. Make it happen by Christmas.
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